I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
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