Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had to cum in my sink.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize