Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
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I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
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In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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