Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
