i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh god it's open bar.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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