So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
