In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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