Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love having hate sex.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We are two peas in an std pod
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
