I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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