i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
