Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize