We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
