Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
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We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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