It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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