So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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