You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
