Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Randomize
