he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I love you. Go after that dick
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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