Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
