I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
