Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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