Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
