I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it's great music for shaving your balls
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
