C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
