Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
