Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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