just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
