so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
