Porn is love you can see.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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