I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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