The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this beer tastes like vomit already
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize