Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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