I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
