Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
