Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
