threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
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This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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