I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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