okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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