I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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