Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
