I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
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Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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