If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
