I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
