Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
