I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
