She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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