Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
