wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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