drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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