Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
