Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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