But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
barbara walters just said penis...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
