I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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