Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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