This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Couch. On fire.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
