Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
