Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize