Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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