No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
