I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
