Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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