Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When are your genitals available?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
