giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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