why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize