you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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